Sardar Jokes!!

A sardar was traveling by train. On his way, he feels the urge to go to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is another sardar bhai in there, quickly shuts the door and returns to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same sardar bhai. An hour passes away, he's made 20 trips to the bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC (Ticket Checker) what's been going on. The TC, who also happens to be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhai out. Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar "I'm sorry, I can't do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member". **************** Mr A and Mr. B were discussing how they would like to die. Mr. A said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I don't want to die screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same time." Mr. B asked, "How did his friends die screaming while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?" Mr A replied, "His friends were the passengers in the car he was driving *************** There was a Sardarji that was down on his luck. In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." The Sardarji then wrote a note saying: "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag & put it beneath the mango tree next to the slide on the north side of the city play ground". Signed, "A Sardarji". The Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was sitting beneath the mango tree. The Sardarji opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note saying, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardarji?" **************** How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians........ Here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday : Are all Indians vegetarian? Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India. Does India have cars? No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes. What does that red dot on women's forehead mean? Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target.... Does India have TV? No. We only have cable. Are you a Hindi? Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India. Do you speak Hindu? Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt? Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school. India is very hot, isn't it? It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India. Indians cannot eat beef, huh? Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat. Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work? I prefer it to coming naked. **************** Ramayana by a modern guy...?? A young second generation Indian in the US, is explaining the significance of Diwali to his younger brother. This is how he would go about it... So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, to some national forest or something... since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so. He decided to get his wife and his bro. along...you know...so that they could all chill out together. But DUDE, the forest was reeeeal scary shit...really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked ass with darts and bows and arrows... so it was Fine. But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro., Lakshman, pissed... And you DON't piss this son-of-a-gun cuz, he just kicks ass and like... all the gods were with him. So anyways, you don't mess with gods. SO, Ram, and his bro. get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok... so, Ram, Laksh. And their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his ownhood. Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest...And anyways...it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shit like that. So, they decided to hitch a ride back home...and when the people realize that our dude, his bro. And the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice... and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit...and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lamps also... so it was pretty cooool...you know with all those fireworks...Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks..And you know, what, dude, that was the very first, no kidding..,that was the very first music-synchronised fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, you know. And, so dude, THAT was how, like, this festival started. Cool! Diwali rocks...... **************** TAMIL JOKES: Whats the opposite of Gopalakrishnan? - Comepalakrishnan. How do they start a road race in Tamil Nadu? - Ready....Steady.....PO What do you call a really colourful Tamilian? -Rangamannar Rangarajan. How does a Tamilian introduce the tennis superstar Lendl? ivan Lendl (Ivan = 'he' in Tamil). What did the Tamilian call the tall building a Japanese built? Nikumo Nikado (Will it or wont it stand?) MAHARASHTRIAN JOKES: What is a gay Maharashtrian called? - Deccan Queen What do you call a westernised Maharashtrian? - Western Ghat. What do you call a Maharashtrian tailor? - Sadashiv. Which Maharashtrians wrote the book 'Apartheid in South Africa?' - Dhaval Gore and Krishnakant Kale. What did Bruce Lee say to the Maharashtrian? - Tumhi Marathe, Aamhi Karate. GUJJU JOKES SPECIAL: Why did the Gujjus think the man who acted as Gandhi in the film was a woman? - Because his name was 'Ben' Kingsley. Why does the Gujju go to London? - To see his Big Ben. Why did the visitor to the Gujju home run away when he was offered tea? - Because the Gujju said he would serve snakes with it.(snacks) What is a Gujju picnic called? - A snake in the grass Why did the Gujju wear a Tuxedo to his vasectomy? If he was going to become impotent, he wanted to look impotent. (important) Why did the American get scared of the Gujju? - Because he said 'Sue kare chhe.' Why did Bill Clinton have the Gujju beaten? - The Gujju told him, You are an impotent man. What will a Gujju tell a tomato who is trailing in a vegetable race? - Come on, Tomato, Ketch up What did the Gujju mean when he said, Maro dikro STATES ma gayon? - His son failed in statistics. Maro dikro Dubai gayo? - My son drowned. Why was the Gujju stacking up pennies on the day before exams? - He wanted to get cent-par-cent. Why did the gujju go to Rome ? He wanted to listen to POPE music. What did the Gujju have in the morning? LIGHT SNAKES for breakfast. What did the Gujju say to the singing prostitute? You are going from BED To VERSE. Why won't the gujju jeweler sell anything to the UP ka bhayiya? The bhayiya kept giving gujju a bunch of hair each time the gujju asked for KESH. SINDHI JOKES: What do you call: A god fearing Sindhi? Bhagwandas Godwani A Sindhi painter? Sadarangani A Sindhi who falls from the 1st floor? Thadani A Sindhi who falls from the 10th floor? Kriplani A Sindhi who falls from the 25th floor? Marjani A communist Sindhi? Karl Lalwani A Sindhi chef? Papadmull Kukreja A Sindhi electrician? Voltram Bijlani A fashionable Sindhi? Jogio Armani A Sindhi milkman? Gopal Dudeja A heroic Sindhi soldier? Hiroo Sipahimalani A Sindhi pest control contractor? Khatmull Marwani A Sindhi stripper working in New York? Barbra Jhangiani A Sindhi casanova? Prem Kissinchandani A Sindhi fire-engine? Bhambhani A Sindhi detergent? Neelam Rindani A Sindhi postman? Mailwani A forgetful Sindhi? Bulo Bhulchandani A fashionable Sindhi? Primlani A fat Sindhi? Hathiramani A Sindhi fly? Makhija A downtrodden Sindhi? Nichani A corrupt Sindhi? Chaipani Why are a Sindhis nostrils big? - Because the air is free. BENGALI JOKES An angry Bengali letter? Chitti-chitti Bong Bong A talkative Bengali? Bulbul Chatterjee An outlawed Bengali? Kanoon Banerjee An enlightened Bengali? Jyoti Basu A Bengali who works? A work of fiction A stupid Bengali girl? Balika Buddhu A Bengali marriage? Bedding A Bengali voyeur? Keyhollo A mad Bengali? In Sen A dark Bengali who lives in a cave? Kalidas Guha A Bengali mobster? Robin Ganguli A perfumed Bengali? Chandan Dass A Bengali goldsmith? Shonar Bongla What s bigger than the state of Bengal? The Bay of Bengal What s common between Bengalis and sperms? Only 1 in a million works When does a Bengali sound like a dog? When he says wow(Bow) What does a ghati call a burping Bong? Mukhopadrya What do you call a Bengali who doesn t eat fish? Ahilsa What do you call an enlightened Bengali?- Jyoti Basu. What do you call an outlawed Bengali?- Bonduk Bannerjee. When does the Bengali sound like a dog?- When he bharks (works). MALAYALEE JOKES: What do you call a very rich Malayalee? - MillionIyer. What do you call an amazing Malayalee? - Pheno Menon. What do you call a dashing Malayalee? - Debo Nair. Why do they require 5 people for a Malayalee funeral? Four to carry the coffin, one to carry the two-in-one. What do you call a Malayalee drunkard? - Kutty Sark. Why did the Malayalee cross the road? - To join the union on the other side. How does a Malayalee travel in Chembur? - BY ODO How does a Malayalee cross the road? -simbly